Apocal
Journeyman
Hate to say it but this isn't true.
As long as what the past employer is stating is true, they can legally disclose the the reason for the termination.
Work in the law, have given reason for the termination of past employees when specifically asked for.
OP best thing you can do is tell the company you are trying to get hired by that you are still currently employed at the job you were fired from, don't want them to know that you are looking for another job and would appreciate it if they wouldn't call for a reference as you fear they may terminate your employment for seeking another job.
Only down side is if they decide to call anyway then you're definitely not getting hired for lying. Risky I know but having an ex-employer tell them you were fired for sexual harassment is a pretty big blow unless you are being interviewed by somebody who is extremely understanding to the situation. Your call, just a bit of friendly advice to think about.
I don't know what field of work you are in but it's done in the legal field all the time and is generally accepted at face value. I've done this every time I went on an interview with a potential employer and I've never had anyone call or not been hired for asking for that courtesy.
That's a rough situation and wish you the best of luck OP.
Don't have a link to anything more concrete but here is a quick link I found to back up my assertion.
http://employment-law.freeadvice.com/employment-law/hiring/employer_references.htm
"When you leave a job or are fired, your previous employer may generally disclose any information about your past performance as long as the information is true. For example, if you were terminated from your job for stealing or as a result of poor performance, your employer may share these details with prospective employers. Your previous employer cannot, however, make statements that are false or defamatory. If this happens, you may be able to file a lawsuit for defamation of character."
This is dependent upon the state. California, for instance, doesn't say.
Just putting it out there, as a guy has to eat:
If you feel that the reason that they fired you was not sufficient enough, aka you really did just ask the woman out, I would go to a legal site and learn how to write them a letter indicating that you are going to sue them. Sometimes they settle quickly for a decent enough amount of money to get you back on your feet. They don't want to go through the legal battle. Even in an at will state.
Also: Read this. http://www.hcareers.com/us/resourcecenter/tabid/306/articleid/662/default.aspx
And ask your prior HR department what their policy is on communicating termination (do they communicate it at all) as well as termination reasons.
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