Most Embarassing thing....

blackbeltjones

blackbeltjones

Grandmaster
Just creating a post to share embarrassing life events that hopefully will cheer up people's day!

I had an embarrassing thing happen to me at walmart over the weekend. So for lunch i had some chili and crackers then decided to head up to walmarts to get some supplies. the whole ride up there my stomach was bubbling and i felt like i had to fart, but nothing. I even sat in the parking lot for 5 minutes trying to bust one out, but nothing.

So i figure i'll be fine, and go in to get my supplies. Then my stomach started bubbling again so i started to look for the least populated isle. Well as you guys know, walmart is packed on the weekend. I was able to find an isle by the pet food that had no one in it, so i decided this was the time and place. it was going to happen, so it better be now before some hottie sees me.

So since i was holding it, looking for a clear spot, i now was unable to let it rip since i was under pressure. I took in a deep breath, tensed up and crapped my pants! As i crapped my pants an old lady in one of those electronic buggies came right behind me and took the full blast.

I ran like i had warrants and went straight home, threw away the undies. I'm a grown ass man and pooped my pants. whats the world coming to?
 
Dewderonomy

Dewderonomy

Grandmaster
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Karl Sagan

Karl Sagan

Grandmaster
Good job on the pants shitting thread here's my contribution:

View: http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PseNrUeSmXk


E: did this guys pool. We pull up at like 5:30 am and he is asleep in his robe in the front yard. He wakes up still drunk as hell and asks who the fuck we are. 'We're here for the pool George!' 'Oh ok I was just getting the paper....' He turns around and walks inside totally ignoring the paper he walks by.
 
illusion

illusion

Master
I had a similar experience as you, except instead of chilli and crackers - it was waffles with runny batter...

Chapter 1 (Setting the Stage):
I was in college (go Mizzou! - you have to imagine, I lived with 4 high school friends in a neighborhood of all college kids, things were crazy every night, constantly porch and garage sitting just drinking beer on a random week night). My alarm went off, half hungover, I had 20m to get to class, I scrambled out of bed - grabbed my laptop, books and STL hat and ran downstairs.

Chapter 2 (The Poison):
My roommate made waffles that morning and he apparently didn't really "make" them per-say, but rather made the batter and just put them on the waffle maker for like 2 seconds, because the batter was really runny when it was "done." I scarfed them down anyway (mistake 1) and ran out the door - I immediately had to shit, I felt it bubbling right as I pulled my truck out of the garage.

Chapter 3 (The Explosion):
Tired, hungover - hauling ass down the road (took me about 10m drive to get to the Engineering building), I thought in my head "wow I really have to take a dump, now, but I'll park and run inside, shit quick, and go to class." (mistake 2). Well... my plan didn't really work... Right as I parked there was a girl sitting in her car doing homework or something, I get out, stand up, shut my door, and the movement of me getting out... well my butt exploded, like instantly, right there as I'm looking at this chick thru her window, I'm just shitting my brains out... I don't know why, but I kindof acted like it didn't happen and I figured I could run inside and clean up and go to class (mistake 3). I waddled my shit stained jeans into the building (I think shit was dripping out the pant legs because it got in my socks somehow). I got into the stall and unzipped what seemed to be an exploded treasure chest of shit. It was everywhere, there was no hope for these jeans or me going into class... The worst part about all of it, waddling back to my car in the packed footraffic of a major college inbetween classes, there were people everywhere, and I figured someone had to have smelled/seen me, oh and driving back home sitting in the shitty jeans. I threw away the jeans, the socks and the seat cover.

Moral of the story
Don't ever eat runny batter waffles.

You're probably thinking, did this idiot even graduate? Yes... I did graduate with honors in my class with an engineering degree, anyone can fall victim to the shit bug!
 
Skye Wolfbane

Skye Wolfbane

Governor of Trinsic
How is this thread not like 20 pages? I lol'd irl. I admire both of your honesty, sirs. Only real men can admit to shitting their pants. I am forever in awe.
 
Lexington

Lexington

Grandmaster
Skye Wolfbane said:
How is this thread not like 20 pages? I lol'd irl. I admire both of your honesty, sirs. Only real men can admit to shitting their pants. I am forever in awe.
Click to expand...



It should be 20 + pages easy......... The rest of us have our stories! If you’re like me this just brought back that very private moment you chose to never ever tell anyone. ;)
 
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