Nidhoggur
Expert
Are you sitting on your forest ostard, buckler in one hand, unexceptional war axe in the other, somewhere in Yew wondering how your character even finds the will to get out of bed each day while your joy-stealing ex-wife lives fat on your UO alimony checks somewhere North of Minoc with her new live-in boyfriend Chad the Elder Tamer (of werkt)? Time to buck the system and get your eMan Card back.
You, dear reader, have options. You could buy a used Harley Davidson to make the neighborhood skank think you're edgy until you smash your collar bone on the first trip to Dollar General for generic goldfish snack crackers and a Lonely Man TV dinner (try the Salisbury steak option, it pairs well with Xanax and Carlo Rossi brand Sangria from the jug with the little finger hole built into the bottle neck! MmmmMMmm )...OR you could improve your life with a solid real estate investment.
Really, it's an investment in yourself and your life. This home has it all, I don't even need to break it down, but you know I'm about to. So, sit back in your sweet racing inspired nerd throne, pause that filth you have playing on your second monitor, crack open a Low-Cal Rockstar (we know you're too cheap to buy RedBull but you'll just say you prefer the taste of the RockStar you picked up at the WalMart self-checkout aisle you dirty liar. You're just lying to yourself) and prepare to remember the first time you saw your new home.
Features:
Secluded. (Actually secluded in the real sense of the word, not like in that mining valley from the other post)
Private Clearing!!
Large Size at 11x16.
Beautiful geography.
Nestled in a V. Seriously, look at the map. It's nestled in a V. Noice.
No open spots for random Yoobies to place small houses next to you.
Self Respect Enhancing Effect. (Affect? No, it's effect.. wait, is it? Damn it get this right or the other nerds will think less of me. But I don't know.. DAMN. Just change it to "impact.")
SELF RESPECT ENHANCING IMPACT
HORRIBLE THINGS: The canopy of a nearby tree does hang a tad over the right upper quadrant, but it's really not bad as it's the canopy and not a massive Yew Tree.
Priced to MOVE at only 300k!
Come see for yourself why, at Uncle Nid's Real Estate, we're always rated #1 in Britania. Free rune with all purchases.
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